Through Needle Pokes and Pricks (Letter to My Baby)

My Precious Tiny Heart,

I see my multi-colored belly, and my arms tattooed with needle scars. I see your Daddy come home very tired from work every night in order to provide for all our treatments and medicines. I look at all of these and I ask myself, "What else are we not willing to do or give just to see your tiny heart beating every ultrasound? ... just to see you one day living the beautiful life that we have always dreamt for you?"

One night, as I was asking myself this question, I caught a glimpse of the heart of God... as if God was asking the same questions back to me, "Misce, I hope that by now you are beginning to understand My love for you... What am I not willing to do  just to see you living the abundant life, the great plan and purpose that I have prepared for you since the creation of the world? ... What am I not willing to give to make sure that you will be spending your eternal life with me? ... You and me forever."

I couldn't help but weep. What are these needle pokes and pricks, compared to the nail pierced hands of Jesus? What is this love that we feel for you, compared to the mind blowing, incomprehensible love of God that flowed through Jesus Christ's sweat, tears, and blood on the Cross?

Anak, one day, if you ever doubt my love or your Daddy's love for you because of circumstances that are hard to understand... if you ever doubt God's love for you, or feel that He is withholding answers to your prayers... always look to that Wonderful Cross... to Jesus' nail-pierced hands, and there you will find the answer...the greatest proof of His love. He did the hardest thing for you. He sacrificed His only Son so you will never have to suffer the punishment of sin... There is nothing that He will not do or give if it will be good for you. He doesn't withhold, He is a generous Father. This is one of the (many) important realizations that God taught me in the many years of waiting for you... I hope that one day, you  also build your life around this truth, it will set you free from unnecessary heartaches and disappointments. Let your doubts and fears vanish at the foot the Cross... and may His perfect love always lead you back to His heart.

"Since he did not spare even his own son but gave him up for us all, won't he also give us everything else?" - Romans 8:32

Love,

Mommy