Welcoming A New Boy In My Life

A quick update on my pregnancy journey. We are currently entering our 19th week and it feels amazing to feel our baby move more frequently now! For APAS Moms like me, these fetal movements are not only a source of joy, but a source of relief as well, having a way to know that my baby is alive and strong inside my tummy, than just waiting for the next ultrasound to find out if his/her heart is still beating. 

By God's amazing grace and provision, we already finished our four sessions of LIT injections this month, and my body seems to be responding well as we see our baby growing healthy with strong heartbeat every ultrasound. Everything looks good with our baby, except for some notching detected in my uterine arteries which could possibly cause some resistance in blood flow to our baby. My OB hasn't increased the dosage of my blood thinners yet, but we are still under close monitoring and will have another Doppler in two weeks. Praying that these notching will be gone on our next ultrasound so I wouldn't have to undergo any expensive treatments and procedures anymore.

I am currently under the following medications:
Innohep Injection .35ml, Duphaston, Caltrate, Aspirin, Natalwiz and Senokot

During the many years of waiting, I have always prayed, and dreamed to have a Baby Girl. I've always had a baby girl's name in mind even during my first loss pregnancy. Pictures of a baby girl's room, a baby girl's birthday party, baby girl's dresses and everything pink and gold has always kept me awake at night. I have always imagined the things that we are going to do together. My baby girl Shekinah has always occupied a huge part of my heart... and so I have believed and claimed that this pregnancy is the baby girl of my dreams.

Last Tuesday, it was confirmed to us that we are having a Baby Boy. To be honest, when we first had a clue that we are going to have a baby boy, this is how I felt: Happy that he is healthy with a strong heartbeat and good gestational size... but I wept a bit because I felt like saying goodbye (for now) to a baby girl that I have always held so close to my heart. At first, I didn't know how to talk to him inside my tummy. It felt like getting to know a new baby inside of me all over again. Don't get me wrong, I love him as much as I love the baby girl of my dreams, I just didn't know how to connect with him.

During my quiet time with God, he spoke to my heart and reminded me that this child is His promised child to us. He is the child that I have dedicated to Him four years ago, long before his heart started beating in my womb. Like Sarah and Abraham who believed and waited many years for God's promise of a child, Mike and I have also believed and waited... and now here he is, our own Isaac... the proof of God's faithfulness to His promise. As soon as I uttered the name Isaac, I felt a strong connection and bond between me and my baby. And so we named him Kaden Isaac. Kaden means "fighter" ... this is the child who fought (and is continuously fighting) with us in this battle of faith... he will always be the living display of God's faithfulness to us. And so I welcome a new boy in my life... and I couldn't wait to see him, and hug him, and play with him in November. I already started dreaming and planning about decorating his room with baby blue and brown, his birthday party and dedication! I also imagine him wearing the same favorite outfits that his Daddy loves to wear! He will surely be my husband's Mini-Mike! I couldn't wait to someday tell him the stories of God's goodness and love! And I couldn't wait to see how God will someday use him for His honor and glory! 

God once again reminded me that as much as He wants to give the desires of my heart, He is a Sovereign God, and He always knows what's best for me. I believe that God's will and plan is better than my dreams, and so I choose to entrust everything to Him. :)

Say Hello to our Baby Kaden Isaac a.k.a Baby Shiko!
(The nickname Shiko is another story between him and his Dad!)