Reflections While Getting Ready to Pop

October 13, 2016

Reflections While Getting Ready to Pop

It's been a while since I last posted an update about my pregnancy. As I write this, we are currently at 34 weeks and 4 days, few more weeks and we'll get to hug and kiss our precious Baby Shiko. We are all excited as my delivery date draws near. I feel that Baby Shiko is super excited too! He's been very active lately with all the kicking, and acrobatic movements going on inside my tummy, my increasing craving for ice cream and sweets adds up to that of course! ;)

We've had a Doppler Ultrasound yesterday and we were so blessed to know that Baby Shiko is continuing to grow with strong heartbeat, and smooth blood flow (no notching or resistance in uterine and umbilical arteries). His size is just appropriate for his age, which according to my OB is very good since one of the common problems of APAS Moms like us is "small for gestational age" babies caused by resistance in the blood flow from the mom to the baby. My OB advised that we can already discontinue my daily blood thinner shots since everything looks well with me and baby. Hurray! I've been waiting for this moment! After almost nine months of daily injections, my multi-colored belly could finally rest from needle pokes! Husband was also so happy to hear this, and on our way home, he told me that he greatly appreciate me for enduring this, he hugged me and whispered that he is very proud of me.

From almost 10 medications that I used to take, I am now down to only three: Caltrate (2x a day), Ferrous Sulfate (3x a day), and Natalwiz (once a day). My OB also advised, that contrary to what others believe, APAS Moms doesn't automatically become candidates for Cesarian Section Delivery. She said that it still depends on the condition of both the mom and the baby. Right now, she sees a very high possibility that I can give birth through Normal Delivery (we've been praying for that!), unless something comes up. She would have to induce my contractions on my 38th week though, since she highly recommends APAS Moms to not reach the 39th-40th week for the safety of both the mom and the baby. My due date is on November 20, but she informed us that on the last week of October, she will start giving me medicines to soften the cervix and initiate contractions so I can give birth within the week of October 31-November 6, exactly at 38 weeks.

Throughout this journey, and with every good Doppler and Ultrasound result, Mike and I continue to realize that it has always been God's grace and will after all. We've known people and read stories of other APAS pregnancies like us who have gone through even more extensive and expensive procedures than what we've experienced. Aside from the LIT injections that we've gone through during our first trimester, others had to go through monthly Intralipid drips, IVIG, blood thinners and steroid shots. Some even had to go on complete bed rest for months... However, despite their compliance to go through all of these, still, some of them loose their babies along the way. My heart mourns and grieves whenever I read stories like that. On the other hand, I also read successful APAS pregnancies and even see beautiful pictures of their "rainbow babies" (this is how we call babies who are born after a storm -- may it be a miscarriage, fetal death, or long season of waiting).

Through both sides of these stories, I am humbled and reminded all the time, that more than the treatments and the medicines, ultimately, God's Sovereign will still prevails after all. God is not only good when things go well or when the pregnancy becomes successful... He is still good, even when what we do not expect or do not prefer happens. God is not only good now, because everything seem to be going well with our Baby Shiko... He is the same good and loving God, four years ago, when the heartbeat of our first baby stopped at 9 weeks. He is the same good and loving God during the season of waiting when nothing seem to be happening. I had to believe and stand upon that truth even when it didn't feel like it while I was in the middle of the storm and wilderness, but as I clung to Him and His promises all those years, He proved to me that He is indeed who He claims to be:

"He is the Rock; his deeds are perfect. Everything he does is just and fair. He is a faithful God who does no wrong; how just and upright he is!" - Deuteronomy 32:4

I believe that He will remain to be the unchanging, good, loving, gracious, faithful and sovereign God in every season that we will have to face in this lifetime... and how about the babies who were not given the chance to be in the arms of their expectant parents? I believe that they have fulfilled the special purpose that God intended for them to fulfill, no matter how short their time were in their mother's womb... I look forward to that day, when we will see our first baby in heaven, and he/she will get to play with Baby Shiko and their other siblings (if God wills for us to have more)... in the mean time, we will cherish every single moment of this current season of our lives as Mike and I prepare to become the parents that God wants us to be... by His grace, and for His glory.