Raising Arrows

As I write this, I am almost at my 34th week of being pregnant. Mike and I are now starting to prepare for my delivery next month and we are both very excited to hold Baby Shiloh in our arms. I haven't written much about my pregnancy journey this time, unlike during my pregancy with Shiko. I think one of the reasons is because there is a huge difference in how I felt then and now. With  Shiko, I struggled with a lot of fear coming from a history of previous miscarriage. It was a constant battle of choosing faith over my fears during my entire pregnancy. I had to fight and choose to believe in God's promises whenever I feared that we would loose the baby again, and we wouldn't have enough money to buy the medicines and pay for the treatments so we could keep Shiko's heart beating for the entire 9 months. With Baby Shiloh, it's different. I didn't feel like I was fighting to believe in God's promises, I felt that I was RESTING on God's promises. I just knew that everything will be okay -- that He will provide for all of our needs, that He will take care of Baby Shiloh and this fruit will not fall off until it is ripe.

"So there is a special rest still waiting for the people of God. For all who have entered into God’s rest have rested from their labors, just as God did after creating the world." - Hebrews 4:9‭-‬10

And true enough I felt rested throughout this journey, because I have held on to what God taught me during my pregnancy with Shiko: that "God can be trusted to keep His promise." (Heb. 10:23)

The other day while I was taking a shower, I strongly felt that God was impressing something in my heart. Out of nowhere this verse popped in my head:

"Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. How blessed [happy and fortunate] is the man whose quiver is filled with them..." 
Psalm 127:4‭-‬5 AMP

It's as if God was whispering in my heart:

"Misce, my princess warrior... you are about to hold another arrow in your hand in a few weeks... I want you to prepare your heart, it may feel overwhelming at first, but keep your eyes focused on the very purpose of why I have entrusted them (your children) to you.."

And I remembered something from a devotion that I have read a couple of years back. That children are "like arrows", and as parents, God has given us the task to prepare them to be ready to fly and hit the target by the time that we release them. As a follower of Jesus, this means being intentional in preparing them for the purpose that God has planned for them.

Thinking about it made me feel a little emotional. I know that I haven't been the best mom to Shiko. I could clearly recall the times when I lost my temper, raised my voice, and cried out of frustration to not meeting my self-imposed standards on how to raise him. There were times when my attitude has not been the best example for him to follow. There were times when I have become so tired, and so lazy to give him all the attention that he needs, times when I have felt selfish and guilty to wanting just a little bit of space to be on my own. This is why the thought that God would entrust another "arrow" to my hand feels very humbling.  God is not just giving me the task to raise children, but to raise future husbands, future fathers, and future leaders. I know that I do not deserve such privilege.

As these thoughts were going through my head, God comforted me with His reassuring still, small voice:

"Misce, I know that you haven't been the perfect mom to Shiko... and I don't expect you to be. Remember every moment when you were in the brink of giving up, when you felt like you are not being good enough... remember your tears after dealing with a meltdown... remember every single one of those moments when you didn't know what to do anymore but to call on Me and cry out that you cannot do this motherhood thing on your own... I saw all of that. And I see your every effort. Whenever you tell Shiko about Me,  how I provide for all your needs, and how I protect your family. Whenever you teach Shiko to pray when He is afraid, when He is sad, when He is mad, when He is happy. Whenever you choose to read another Bible story to him even when you are already tired and sleepy. Whenever you try your best to respond to him patiently and calmly. Whenever you choose to give up your own comfort and convenience so you can remain close to him and make him feel secure. Whenever you discipline him so he can learn how to obey. Whenever you give him a vision of the great plans that I have for him. Whenever you tell him that one day, I will bless him so he can be a blessing to many people. I see everything that you do to make sure that he grows up aware of my reality and my presence in his life. I see and hear how you pray for him, and Shiloh, and all the generations who will be born after them... how you surrender every area of their lives to Me... I see all of that... and that my child is how you wield them, how you sharpen them, how you craft them to become the efficient "arrows" that I created them to be."

I am reminded that unlike archery, we, parents have only one shot for every child that we raise. The short years that we are given to forrm our children's  character and values is like learning how to properly apply tension on the string, learning how to adjust to the wind and distance, learning how to aim... and when the time comes,  to release them hoping that they will not miss the mark, but hit the target, make a huge damage to the kingdom of darkness and let the light of Jesus pierce through and make an impact to their generation. This isn't an easy task, but can only be done as we abide in Jesus every single step of the way, relying on every wisdom that He gives through the guidance of His Word.

“Women intimately partner with God as they bear and raise children. They are our seed and His heritage and reward. They are the ones we launch into the future. They live far beyond us with eyes that see up close what we see only far off in the distance. Their ears will hear out loud things that were only sounded as a whisper in our lifetimes. They are to be carefully aimed and propelled, for they will not easily miss their marks. We are promised that, by raising them in the way they should go, they will be more inclined to hit the target of their destiny in God when they are grown… Women, when you raise godly children, you are likened to a warrior, wielding arrows that will pierce the darkness and usher in glorious light far beyond your time." - Lisa Bevere