An Attempt To Write Again

It's Saturday. The last day of our church's annual Prayer and Fasting Week. My week-long time off of social media has been fruitful and I've had sweet moments of worship and intimate conversations with God. My journal is filled with clear revelations of what He wants me to do this year. Finally, my 2016 can now officially begin.

It's been a while since I last visited or updated this blog. To be honest, I didn't know how to have the same passion that I used to have in writing. Sometimes I hate that I feel average in doing the things that I've always loved. I feel like God has given me a little bit of this and that, yet I cannot be the best in any of it. For example, I know that I can sing a bit, play guitar a bit, doodle a bit, graphic design a bit, write a bit... but I've always wished that I am able to be really, really good at one thing. You know, like how Kari Jobe is really, really good in creating music, or how Beth Moore is really, really good in teaching. Part of me blames it to the many years I've wasted with ungodly relationships instead of investing those youthful years exploring my gifts and discovering (and mastering!) that craft where I could really, really be good at.

Yesterday, as I was browsing some sample pages from Google Play Books, I came across these words by Emily Freeman from her book "A Million Little Ways" (I  need to find a copy of this book! I'm excited to read more!)

"I don't believe there is one great thing I was made to do in this world. I believe there is one great God I was made to glorify. And there will be many ways, even million little ways, I will declare His glory with my life."

I breathed a sigh of relief. Those words couldn't have come at a more perfect time. I knew God has been attentive to my rants, and there He was, using Emily's words to answer my question, "Lord, is it too late?" I love how God is so concerned with what is in our hearts! 

Lying down on my bed with a smart phone on my hand, I browsed through my blog page and started reading my old posts. I almost weep as the Lord revealed traces of His Divine Presence all throughout the years of struggles and triumphs documented on every post. This is my life -- with all the messes and His lessons publicly shared through the World Wide Web. I am grateful I took the time to publish them, but I also felt a bit of regret... I wish I could've written more. A lot of breakthroughs has happened with my walk with God over the last few months. A lot of very meaningful life lessons that I will forever cherish in my heart. I wish I have shared them too. I wish I was able to give God the glory through those blog posts, had I not been too lazy and too undisciplined in stewarding my time.

Jesus said in His Word that we need to be faithful stewards of the gifts that God has entrusted to us.

"To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away." - Matthew 25:29 [NLT]

I long for God to use my gifts to create an impact to the lives of others, and ultimately, to bring glory to His Name. I want to use well what He has given me.. these "little bits of these and that". I have to start somewhere. Right here, right now, with what I have -- this little space, a platform where I can freely shout to the world the reality of a faithful, personal, and loving God through the seemingly ordinary days of my life. 

And those other little bits? ...  I can just be ready to use them, maybe in some other seasons. As God calls, as God leads. So I guess this post is an attempt for me to start writing again. Hopeful that He will rekindle this passion, that this little bit gift of writing will someday be multiplied and somehow be able to make an impact to the world... by His grace, and for His glory alone.