Beautiful in His Time

The other night, I was speaking with a friend. She was sharing to me her sadness at that moment, feeling of emptiness, longing to finally have that special someone who will love and take care of her. I knew exactly what she was feeling at that moment. Like her, I also felt that longing. Whenever I see a newborn baby on my news feed, or whenever I hear a friend or someone I know getting pregnant, I feel that longing. Longing to finally have what I have been praying for for the longest time.

God and I have talked about this so many times, and I love the way He comforts me every time. Of the many comforting verses that He gave me, this is one of my favorites:


There are so many thoughts juggling around my head about this verse that I don't even know where to start! All I know is I have to write them down to share how mind blowing God's love is for you and me!

GOD'S THOUGHTS ARE HIGHER THAN MY THOUGHTS

Have you ever had that feeling when you wanted something so badly, that you tell God, "Lord, if I could only have this... or that... RIGHT NOW! I will be completely happy!" I did! So many times in my life!

In this season of waiting, I realized... well, maybe that's how I look at it from just as far as I can see. But God is an all-knowing God! I imagine Him shaking His head saying, "Really? Right Now? You have no idea what could happen if I give it to you now." or "You have no idea what I have prepared  for you! How beautiful it is!... And the time for you to feel the "happiest feeling" for it is not Right Now!" Most of the time "I think" that "I know" what will make me happy "right now". But He alone knows the time when I will feel the happiest when He finally gives it to me.

GOD'S BROKEN HEART WHEN I GRAB THINGS IN HIS HANDS

I grew up thinking that just attending Sunday masses was enough to be called religious. I had no intimate relationship with God during my younger years so I had no idea what He has to say in every minor and major decision making that I had to make. I didn't read the Bible, and I didn't have quiet moments to speak to Him back then (except for memorized prayers that I prayed from time to time). I was just used in getting what I wanted when I wanted them. Everything was about my way, I didn't know that there is God's Way in every aspect of our lives.

Looking back, I realized that most of the regrets that I had in my life were those times when I rushed on things and did not wait for His perfect time. I spoke to Him the other night when I could not sleep. I told Him, "Lord, I'm sorry. It must have broken your heart when I made decisions after decisions without seeking Your will." I started recalling the things that He didn't want me to have yet, the things that He didn't want me to do yet in my younger years. I began to understand why I had those unecessary heartaches, stress, and wasted years. It wasn't His time for me for those things yet... but I grabbed them, that's why it wasn't beautiful. It was ugly. It was burdensome.

"For I know the plans that I have for you", declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." 
- Jeremiah 29:11

In my mind, I saw a picture of a Father who prepared something beautiful for His child. Something extraordinary. Something wonderful. Only Him knew how much joy His child would have when she finally have them at the time He set for her. I imagine a Father witnessing how her daughter started loosing what He had prepared for her because of her rush decisions in settling for temporary happiness, for short term pleasures. I imagined God's broken heart every time His child chooses second best not knowing that she is missing out on God's best for her life.

If it is not yet God's time, it is ugly. Or it may sometimes look pretty, or cute, but not beautiful... Not as beautiful as God intended it to be. And that's what we are missing out when we grab it ahead of time!

UNDERSTANDING HIS LOVE

As I began to read the Bible and know His ways, I started to understand His great love. The depth of His love to His children is mind blowing! I realized that the things that He tells me not to do or not to have (yet) are His ways to protect me and lead me to the beautiful life that He has prepared for me. His heart was broken for every wrong decisions that I did, not just because I disobeyed Him, but out of His overflowing love for me, His heart was broken because my wrong decisions caused me to miss out the best that He prepared for me for that season of my life.

It is Satan's scheme to rush us into making decisions without seeking the will of God. He came to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). To steal the beautiful life that God prepared for us, to destroy our future. The enemy may have stolen some of the best years that God has prepared for us through his schemes. But our God is full of grace and mercy! He redeems our wasted years! He turns ashes into beauty! And what the enemy used against us: the shame and the guilt from our past, God can use for His Glory! And I know that as long as I keep on seeking the will of God moving forward in my life, I will claim the beautiful life that He had prepared for me here on earth and throughout eternity!

I am so thankful, that it is in this season of waiting when He gave me more than what I have been praying for. It is HIM. It is knowing Him deeper. Understanding His great love for me. Revealing His purpose for my life. And indeed, His love satisfies! 

God is good! No matter what season you are in your life right now, know that God is good! Even if you cannot understand the things that He allows to happen, God is good! Choose to follow His ways. Choose to obey Him. I have learned to thank Him for my delayed prayers, because I know that just like how He blooms the flowers, just like how He changes the season, just like how He develops a baby in the womb of a mother... He will give me what is best for me, in the best moment of my life.. In His time, it will surely be beautiful. 


Emptied to be Filled: My 27th Birthday!

Last Monday, was my 27th birthday. A day before it I was able to spend time with my parents and siblings after attending the Sunday Service. It was a very meaningful moment when I shared my testimony to my family about God's provision for my birthday! If I could just write the whole story here! It was really AMAZING that I was crying the whole time I was sharing the story with my family! All I can say is that, God is really a sweet loving Father!

When I was younger, my birthday was always such a big deal for me because it's that one day of the year when I get to see all my friends and family (some don't even know each other) in one place to celebrate my special day. I remember preparing for it months before, saving my salary to make sure that I will have the celebration that I want. Well, I still miss the people who celebrated my birthday with me year after year. Most of them I no longer have the chance to talk to. 


This year is different. No more huge birthday blast. Actually, I would say that this is the year of my life when God took most of the things that I once thought were important to me. He literally emptied my hand so that He could fill it with WHAT MATTERS MOST -- THE REASON FOR EVERYTHING! The best gift that someone could ever receive! -- This was the year when He revealed His purpose for my life. And I am so grateful, because I now know to Whom I should live the rest of my life for. 


This is the year when I realized that I don't have to grab everything, or to keep myself busy with doing a lot of stuffs. Instead, God taught me to actually do less. To just focus on what's important. To do only the things that He wants me to do. This is the first time in my life when I felt this kind of fulfillment! The joy in knowing that I am in the exact place where God wants me to be! 


He gave me a song that day. The song THROUGH IT ALL by Hillsong. I am very much familiar with this song, but it wasn't really one of my favorite worship songs. What's amazing was, with all the miracles that happened on a such impossible situation that day, I believe that it is no coincidence that someone was singing that song in the Videoke when we arrived at our parent's house that afternoon! It made me burst into tears! 


Right after my midnight prayer and quiet time, I asked GOD'S BIRTHDAY MESSAGE for me. And He gave me these messages through 2 Timothy Chapter 2:



  • DISCIPLE. - 2 Timothy 2:2
  • Do not be attached to the world, endure suffering as a Soldier of Christ. - 2 Timothy 2:3-7
  • The Word of God cannot be Chained! - 2 Timothy 2:8-13
  • Do not be involved in worthless talks! (I needed this one at that very moment!) - 2 Timothy 2:4-16
  • Keep yourself pure for the Exclusive Use of The Master. - 2 Timothy 2:20-22
  • Be kind and patient with difficult people. (He emphasized what I really needed that moment! This is one of my weaknesses!)- 2 Timothy 2:24


NOTHING COULD EVER BE COMPARED TO THE JOY OF HAVING GOD'S PRESENCE IN OUR LIVES! 
THANK YOU JESUS FOR A PURPOSE-DRIVEN YEAR!