Healing Is In Your Hands

It's been a heartbreaking day. As I write this, I am lying beside my 5-month old baby on a hospital bed. He's had a fever reaching 39.5 degrees during the last 3 days and has been on a round-the-clock dose of Paracetamol. My head spins with the doctors' explanations of possibities and yet still unclear diagnosis. All i know is that my baby is still so small to suffer these needle pricks, and to bear the pain of an abnormally swollen lymph node that these doctors could not explain. Shiko is already worn out of crying in pain, and hunger, and fear. His eyes plead, "Mommy, take me out of this pain!" ... But I couldn't do anything but hold his hand and tell him that "Mommy's here" ... I stayed close to him and still tried my best to calm him until I found myself singing :

🎶How high, how wide... No matter where I am... Healing is in Your hands. How deep, how strong. Now by Your grace, I stand. Healing is in Your hands. In all things, we know that, we are more than conquerors. You keep us by Your love.🎶

After hours of endless crying, Shiko miraculously closed his eyes and slept when I started singing this song. My tears flowed and I felt like falling into the arms of Jesus as I sang this song repeatedly. With every word, God's love started to fill me. I felt peace. Not because my circumstance has changed, but because I know that I am in the very presence of the God who loves me. The God who loves this child more than I do.

In my devotion today, the LORD spoke:

"When Jesus arrived at Peter’s house, Peter’s mother-in-law was sick in bed with a high fever. But when Jesus touched her hand, the fever left her. Then she got up and prepared a meal for him." - Matthew 8:14‭-‬15

"Hope does not come from belief in power; it comes from trust in a Person. When we don’t understand what Jesus is doing, we must seek to know Him more." -- #SheReadsTruth

Tonight, as I rest and try to sleep, I have decided to put my baby's healing in the hands of Jesus. I do not need to understand why He is allowing this to happen. I rest in knowing that He loves us, and because of that love, it is safe to trust Him.

Please pray for our family as we go through this season. May we experience the peace and presence of the Lord and may Baby Shiko heal according to His will.

Sweep Me Away

Last week, a friend of mine came to visit me. She is not just a very close friend, but a sister in Christ. We've shared lots of laughters and tears together, we prayed over our struggles and celebrated triumphs in our many years of walking with the Lord.

She was on fire as she was sharing to me her breakthroughs and how God has been leading her to a new season of her life. I wept as she shared to me how the Lord clearly speaks to her through His Word during her quiet moments with Him and how He keeps on blowing Him away with His presence moment by moment. I was so blessed by her stories that I couldn't help but weep. I wept because I was so happy for her.... I wept because I miss the Lord.

I entered this new season of motherhood and my life has changed. I am happy taking care of my baby, but I haven't been spending time with God like I used to. Lately, I've been sensing this feeling of emptiness. I've been longing for more of God, but I kept on ignoring His gentle nudge and instead, I kept myself busy with other stuffs, wasting too many hours on social media and reading articles on the internet. I neglected my time with Him until somehow I got used to it and can't seem to find my way back anymore. I miss my Lord. I miss hearing Him so loudly. I miss bursting in tears as His presence overwhelms me.

Tonight, as I was listening to the song "Sweep Me Away" by Kari Jobe, finally, I felt the presence of God once again.This is His message to me:

My Precious Misce,

Do you still remember those days when you were still young in your relationship with me? When you were just starting to fall in love with me? Recall those days when you were alone in your room, and you always look forward to spending those afternoons sitting at my feet with your pen and notebook, ready to write everything You hear from Me. How you burst in tears as you learn new things about me, and as I sweep you away with my love.... nothing else mattered, but only My love for you... even in the midst of your longings and unfulfilled dreams, you were satisfied because you have me and you were so filled with My love. I miss you my daughter... and I know that you miss me too... but you are not able to hear or feel my presence like before... because my daughter, I don't compete... you won't hear or feel me like before until I become the only desire of your heart once again...  I want your heart to be completely mine again, just like those days when you were still young in your faith in Me. 

No matter where you go, and how far you try to wander away from me, I am just here. I never left and would never leave our secret meeting place. You know where to find me. Look at you... you've come a long way... and as I see you holding your precious Shiko in your arms, I want you to know that I'm proud of you... of how you have been mothering him... I'm proud of who you have become... 

Remember how I promised to guide you through the unknown roads? How I promised to set you free from your fears as you trust in me? It's been a great journey, isn't it? ... Now, return to me because I have more in store for you... you've been trying to wander away from me for too long... I love you, and I can't let you. Nothing's changed. You are still my precious princess, whom I have loved with an everlasting love. I'm always waiting.

- God