Through Rocks, Hills & Shears -- Flourish!

My #OneWord for 2021 is "FLOURISH". I searched my Thesaurus and this word is synonymous to: grow, prosper, bloom, thrive succeed, increase, be fruitful.

Mike bought me a kindle copy of  the book "Chasing Vines" by Beth Moore as a Christmas gift. This book is just the perfect read for me to start the year and God is using it to grow my perspective on fruitfulness. Here are some amazing things that I am learning about grapevines so far:

• Grapes are best planted and grown on a hilly terrain and rocky soil because making the vines struggle generally results in better quality grapes.

• "Give the grapevine a favourable environment and it will put its energies making leaves and shoots. But make things difficult for the vine by restricting water supply, making nutrients scarce, pruning it hard and it will focus its effort on reproducing itself sexually (which means making grapes) because she is concerned that her survival is at risk and she will do her best to ensure that her kind makes it even if she doesn't."

• "Nothing is more painful to the branch than pruning—and nothing is more irresponsible for the vinedresser than avoiding it... The gardener who will not subject his branches to pruning is not merciful. He is murderous—slowly, yes, but surely. He will first kill the quality, then the flavor, and finally the fruit itself. This is suffocation by overcrowding, or what the experts call “overcropping.”

During the last couple of months, Mike experienced three scary episodes of sleep apnea. He would wake up in the middle of the night shouting, gasping for air. After the last instance, we decided to seek medical help. He was referred to Dr. Keith Aguilera, a Sleep Medicine Specialist from St. Luke's BGC who conducted a Sleep Test on him. The result of the test revealed that he unconsciously chokes at an average of 19 times per hour while sleeping, and there are also those severe instances when he would consciously wake up because his oxygen saturation is deteriorating. Diagnosis is Moderate Obstructive Sleep Apnea. His doctor could not really pin point the cause since Mike is not obese, he doesn't snore much while sleeping and he has no other underlying medical condition that could trigger this. There is also no anatomical abnormality seen in his endoscopy result. According to his doctor, sleep apnea is a serious medical condition that could lead to complications like stroke or heart failure if left untreated. The treatment option suggested to him is the use of a CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) Machine for his body to avoid airway obstruction during sleep. The machine costs 80,000 PHP to 150,000 PHP and will be used for life.

It's been a challenge for Mike to process this. I've seen my husband take care of his health as much as he could -- adjusting his diet, exercising, taking supplements etc... it doesn't make sense that this medical condition just abruptly happened. It's hard to make sense of the situation, unless... we look at the perspective that our Wise Vinedresser is giving us rocks and allowing us some uncomfortability. Once again, He is reminding us that we are not in control of our lives. When our understanding fails us, all we can do is to trust The Giver of our lives who knows where to take us, who knows just how much rocks, risks, and pruning we need in order to bear fruit.

I am beginning to accept the fact that as followers of Jesus, we should not expect life to always be easy, cozy, and comfy. It's upto us to make the crucial decision to fall away or to stick closer to The Vine when things get hard. Our Vinedresser loves us enough to leave us unfruitful, and while we sometimes misunderstand His mercy as cruelty during the painful seasons of pruning, He doesn't seem to mind. Whenever I look back at my life, it's always been the most painful seasons when I have learned the most valuable lessons, lessons that I am now able to share to those who are also going through the same struggles I went through. It was during those difficult days when I have experienced the reality and presence of God the most. The Vinedresser is closest to us during the pruning process after all, holding us, pinching us, cutting us back... always for the same purpose: that we may continue to bear much fruit.

The last few days I've seen how this medical diagnosis is humbling my husband. He would pray earnestly every night before going to bed, begging God to not allow another scary episode of choking during his sleep. He wakes up thanking and praising God whenever he wakes up with a good and peaceful sleep. This has been the fruit that I see bearing through all of this so far -- my husband's intimacy and dependence on God, his humility to accept things beyond his control, and gratitude for every single breathe and every single morning that he wakes up.

"I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn't produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more... Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing." - John 15:1-2,4

"Have you ever wondered why God goes to the trouble of sanctifying us? He could instantly zap us into His image the moment we decide to follow Jesus, or He could transport us into heaven the moment of our conversion. Why would He opt for taking us through the long, drawn-out process of planting, watering, pruning, and harvesting? But sure enough, He rolls up His sleeves, puts palms to the dirt, and begins putting the pieces of our lives together in a way that matters. I think it’s because He’s not looking for a store-bought tomato. He wants the real thing, raised by His own hands, hard won as it is. To a gardener, grown is overrated. It’s growing it that makes the fruit sweet." -- Beth Moore [Chasing Vines]