Marriage is Hard

It's been four years. Four years since Mike and I got the shock of our lives when we realized that we are two different persons -- totally opposite in so many ways. Mike was born and raised in a military family where strict discipline is practiced from waking up early to fast and noiseless washing of dishes. I, however, grew up in a laid back environment where extended hours of sleep is tolerated and family bonding means going to rock concerts or singing in the videoke on weekends. 

Deciding to get married only two months after getting to know each other, it wasn't long before Mike found out that he didn't like the kind of music I listen to, the type of clothes I wear, and my "one of the boys" attitude towards my circle of friends. In a few months of being married, I found out that I wasn't prepared for the fast paced lifestyle that he was living then, strict compliance to rules, and his obsession with Chinese food!

The truth is -- Marriage is Hard!  Yes, there are days when I am missing my friends and the things that we used to do. There are days when I am just too lazy to get up in the morning but I have no choice because my long list of things-to-do is getting out of hand. There are days when I am just too self-centered to reach out, too numb to care, and too stingy to serve my husband. Mike feels the same way  towards me at times. There are days when I cause his blood pressure to shoot up. Those days when I keep on messing up with the household chores -- his irritation when I make noise while washing the dishes, when we have to throw food away because the dish I tried to cook was not "edible" for his taste buds.. and so on, and so forth... Worst are the days when I mess up with his decision making, when I insist in telling him what in my opinion is "a better choice to make", when he sees the lack of submission and respect in my facial expressions... when I fail to make him feel that I support him. Those are the days when I make him explode in anger, when our opposite opinions, personalities, preferences collide. And there are financial struggles, conflicts in external relationships, differences in our priorities and passions...and if I am totally honest, sometimes we just don't know how to make it work anymore... and then as both of us are knocked down on our knees... there we find the answer...

Rely on the love God has for us. This was the verse engraved on our wedding ring. As Mike and I continue to live our lives together, the more we understand what relying on God's love truly means -- it is allowing God's love to extend beyond our ability to love each other. When it just hurts too much, we remember how God has forgiven us from our sins. When it's just hard to love and to care and to be selfless... we remember Christ's death on the Cross, His selfless sacrifice that He let go of His rights because He loves us and He cares that we spend our eternal life with Him... How can we not forgive, love, and care for each other the same way? 

Marriage is hard... but it is also beautiful. There are beautiful mornings of waking up beside the man whom God is using to remind me everyday of His Grace. There are morning jogs and late night walks. There are massage nights while watching anime. There are Oreo-Strawberry Frappe surprises after a petty quarrel. There are Tuesday afternoons soaking in the swimming pool and Spaghetti Days. There are surprise embraces and kisses from behind while I am washing the dishes. There is a husband who walks with me for hours in the mall just to help me find a cute journal. There are baby talks and teasing each other. There are afternoons of watching the sunset together by the beach and being awestruck in God's marvelous creations. There are Valentine's Day gifts, Holiday Ham seasons, pizza nights, and ice cream parties. There are snuggles, cuddles, and tickles on cold rainy nights. There are beautiful tears after surrendering our pride. There is a husband who calls me "Princess" and treats me like one in every possible way that he can. There are unexpected words of appreciation and forehead kisses. There are terrifying medical findings and a husband who tells me that I'll never face anything in my life alone. There are nights when we thank each other in advance for the life that we've shared together here on earth (just in case we won't be husbands and wives anymore in heaven). There are beautiful Sunday mornings worshiping and serving God together. There are hopes and dreams of what we want our lives to look like when we grow old...

There is a husband, who is far from perfect... who struggles, stumbles, make mistakes and is willing to humbly kneel down at the feet of Jesus to seek His Grace so he can stand back up again and continue running the race. There is a wife who wishes to have it "all together" but realizes that it's not going to happen and she has no choice but to lay her everyday battles at the foot of the Cross.

And there are Anniversary Dates -- when we celebrate God's goodness and acknowledge that it is no longer us... but Christ, who loves in and through us that we were able to enjoy another year of being together... Marriage is hard... but if I am really honest, I'd say that marriage is one of the most precious gifts that God has given us. Ours isn't perfect, we might have not seen the worst in each other yet... but whatever the future holds for us, we will continue to rely on God's perfect love.