My Precious Tiny Heart (A Letter to my Baby)

My Precious Tiny Heart,

The last two weeks felt like the longest two weeks of my life. After that first pre-natal check-up, fear and doubt crept into my heart as I've recalled how we lost the heart beat of our first baby at 8 weeks, four years ago. There were mornings when I would wake up wondering if your heart is still beating. I would cry out my worries and fears to God, and He would comfort me with His promises as I soak myself in His Word:

"There will be no miscarriages or infertility in your land, and I will give you long, full lives." - Exodus 23:26

"And I will be to her a wall of fire all around, declares the LORD, and I will be the glory in her midst." - Zechariah 2:5

"Your grapes will not fall from the vine before they are ripe", says the LORD of Heaven's Armies." - Malachi 3:11

"Blessed shall be the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your ground." - Deuteronomy 28:4

I'll never forget what your Daddy told me while I was crying that night:

"Lumalakad ka na sa tubig, wag na wag mong aalisin ang focus mo kay Jesus, kundi, lulubog ka. (You are already walking on water, do not loose your focus on Jesus, otherwise, you'll drown). We will fight this battle together in faith, and in the end, God will be glorified."

I am so blessed to have your Daddy. I stood and walked in his faith when mine was shaking. Together, we chose to believe the Goodness of God, His Power, and His Great Love for us. We remembered His faithfulness and the miracles that He has done for us in the past. God used the many years of waiting to prepare us for this day -- when we are brave enough to fight this battle because we know Him deeper now. We know that He is Greater, Stronger, Bigger, and Higher than any fearful situation that we will have to face. Ultimately, we know that He is the One fighting for us. God gave us a peace beyond understanding as we stood upon this Truth.

Today, your Daddy and I were in awe, crying, as we were worshiping God after seeing you healthy at your 8 weeks and 3 days ultrasound. For someone who have lost the heartbeat of her child in the past, your 174 bpm heart beat is already a dream come true for us! It was an answered prayer! Every single beat of your heart is a gift from the Lord.

Anak, one day, when you grow up, you will face frightening situations in life. My prayer, is that you may know Jesus and His Great Love for you! That you become so passionately in love with Him too, it is then that you will understand, that only His perfect love can cast out your fears. This Jesus who takes care of you while you are inside my womb, is the same Jesus who will care for you throughout your lifetime, until your hair is white with age (Isaiah 46:4). He will bring you to the great plan and purpose that He has prepared for you (Jeremiah 29:11) as long as you keep on trusting and obeying Him. Anak, I'm excited to someday see you walk on water too... following Jesus to the great unknown, to wherever He leads you. You can always choose faith over fear, because the LORD your God will always be with you wherever you go (Joshua 1:9). 


Read the Story of my Past Miscarriage here: